mid-century maunderings for men who know better
For smoothmodernist the internet has meant shopping. Clothes, records, books, all past their contemporary heyday, all available for a reasonable negotiable price. Excellent! Rather than comb racks of soiled polyester slacks and vinyl jackets, all he need do is furnish himself with a few key search terms to type into his difference engine and a cornucopia of useful web sites cascade down the screen. With clean hands and composure the dandy modernist can search, inquire and purchase exactly what he needs.
As examples of web 2.0, Facebook and Twitter are only useful for the socially bereft, and for those who would prefer these poor dullards to stay in their own compounds, sequestered and content with their own kind.
Being able to send a field telegram with a pocket electronic device is convenient when the traffic is busy. Maps and timetables are useful to access with a swipe of the fingers but the trains still don’t run on time, one still can’t get a parking spot and there is always somebody who isn’t properly dressed. So Web 2.0 hasn’t made any impact there, which is odd considering Facebook’s claim on the souls of nearly one billion users. That being the case, the roads, trams and trains should be empty of all traffic save those enclaves populated by elderly motorists crashing their cars into traffic bollards, shop windows, front yards and rivers.
Accrington Observer 8/9/11
Now that the newspaper and magazine are apparently wallowing in the tar pit of their own obselescence, the information one traditionally relied on them for can be found on the web. A new band, club or bar can be sampled online. A keen ear will be able to discern if the music is sound or if the band is worth seeing, a sharp eye will detect if the cocktails are dry and the staff discrete. This is a definite boon to those who need to know what’s happening—where and when. Needless to say the dandy modernist always knows what time it is and where to loosen his notecase and plant his forty-ones.
Web 2.0 is useful for the man about town if his Samuel Pepys is in his other trousers. It is therefore essential that he have a special pocket created into the lining of his jacket so the silhouette of his suit isn’t spoiled by the bulge of a hot, throbbing pocket electronic device. The photograph below shows an extreme measure that smoothmodernist does not condone.
While there is a certain convenience to having every thing there is to know at one’s fingertips, web 2.0 is hardly a necessity for the man who already knows everything. A stout pair of boots, a riding crop and a tin of Peterson’s University Flake is really all a man need equip himself with when venturing forth into the world.